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Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world."As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad," Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.She's tried out Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and They see my delight in swiping, an activity most of them find boring or even disheartening at this point, as refreshing.But I've never actually been on a dating app as myself, a black woman. Yes, online dating seems fun from where I'm standing, but I think doing it as a woman of color would damage my faith in humanity.
And sometimes, the weirdness isn't from actual people, but from the dating services themselves.
"As a black woman who works in tech and sports, I'm pretty used to being in environments where being non-white isn't exactly considered an asset.
I'm sure the dating world online isn't any different," she says, citing how when she made a Bumble app for a similarly pretty white friend, her friend was "inundated" with way more matches than Sarah had gotten on the app.
For now, Maya's filtered her preferences on the dating apps she still uses to only see people of color, hoping to avoid some of the disconnect she's previously experienced.
And when she still encounters ignorance, she has a genius game plan: "I usually wax eloquent about [things like] my work, racial justice organizing, and Black Lives Matter...until they feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable, and then I never speak to them ever again." Lots of praise hands emojis for you, Maya.